I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2023)

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (1)

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Dovahsmom

I was trying to act normal and just get my money together so I could leave but I can't pretend anymore. Every time he makes me mad I just want to pack my *** and leave with our daughter, the second he's rude I literally just imagine packing the car up and leaving. He just called me to complain about not getting his paycheck yet at work so I told him to ask around with his coworkers. This is his second year at a seasonal job and he started late in the season last year so I told him to ask around about how they do the first paychecks and I said there's a chance he could have a paper check waiting. This man goes "we literally all talk in the morning, I think if somebody got a *** paper check I think I would have *** heard about it by now" and sighed super hard. He called ME to complain about the check, how are you gonna call MY mf phone and be a *** when I try to help. It just brought up all the other things I'm mad about.

I called him out on being rude the other day and he goes "I'll stop making you cry I'm sorry" and I literally went "it's cool I'm done crying over shît you say". I didn't even mean to say anything like that, I just got super mean out of nowhere. He looked like I slapped him in the face.

His dad and stepmom have a 2yo girl (first girl of 6 boys) and his dad was saying if there's a woman in the house she needs to change diapers because it's "wrong" for a man to do it unless he's the only one taking care of the baby. Until this point my partner had no issues with doing diapers, the SECOND his dad said some shít now he won't change her. He had audacity to lie and say his mom, grandma, both grandpa's, and his brothers all said something about how I "force" him to change diapers. I KNOW this is a blatant lie because I change all the diapers when we have company. I literally take her into our room, change her and feed her, he does NOTHING when company is over because I expect him to host so I'm not sure why he thinks he can lie about them all saying that he shouldn't be changing diapers. He's keeping up this lie that everybody is saying he shouldn't change diapers and all I say is "that's fine be a deadbeat then"

He was talking about how he wants 1 more kid and I told him he needed to find a new baby mama cause it wasn't gonna be me. He got an attitude about it and I went on a rant about how him and his mom ruined my pregnancy and they REALLY ruined my birth experience, I straight up looked him in the face and told him I resent him and his mother and I won't ever look at them the same.

It just feels like the veil is falling, snapping on him feels so out of character and I feel so guilty but I can't help it. He showed his true colors when I was pregnant and now I really can't see him the same. Hes not the loving partner I had before we had a baby and I can't pretend I haven't noticed how he's acting. I just want to leave, I don't want to wait any longer. I can't keep the act up like we're cool when every day I consider leaving before he gets home from work. I know we'll be good co-parents but being in a relationship can't happen anymore. I'm tired of the lying and guilt trips. I hate feeling like I want to go home and then realizing I am home and I'm stuck here.

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2)

jammymommy

Yo let my husband try to tell me it’s my job to change diapers lolol what a complete loser! I can’t imagine having that attitude about my own child! Like huh? I don’t blame you for wanting to leave. Sounds like he’s used to running the show. He’ll be shocked when you leave!

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (3)

emilyvh

@jammymommy,

and he wants another child!!!! But won’t put in the work to change a diaper… what a fragile ego. I can’t even imagine.

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (4)

gxetchxn

Lmfao that is a deadbeat saying he won’t change diapers or that your “forcing” him too! Wtf! That’s BOTH your kid so he needs to get off his ass and HELP you! He didn’t push that baby out you did the least he can do is help change diapers smh

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(Video) How To Handle A Relationship With A Busy Man | The Secret To Dating A Busy Guy

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Dovahsmom

@gxetchxn,

Once he went on his stupid diaper strike I knew it was over. Do me dirty, I don't care but do your own kid dirty??? I'm good.

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (5)

gxetchxn

@Dovahsmom,

exactly!! Like that’s your baby that needs you they rely on you to take care of them that’s just so messed up! Like man up and be a father!! Smh

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (6)

emilyvh

OP, please follow your gut. You’re not stupid. You’re done and you want to leave, I think it’s best for you to get out asap. I don’t blame you at all for lashing out at him. He sounds clueless at best. Antagonistic at worst. Doesn’t even care about his child’s diaper or his own paycheck. You’re better off on your own imo.

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (7)

(Video) 7 Signs of an Incompatible Relationship

nattygs

it's hard to find the best time to go. eventually you will have enough. just don't let him know what you're plans are. If you are going to leave then leave.

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kashmcn

My husband used to be like this.. he would tell people that he “let” me sleep in and would wake up in the middle of the night for “me” and I’m like, “B*tch! It’s yours job too! It was a long hard marriage for two years but now he’s changed completely! I was going to leave him too and I think that freaked him out because he did truly loved me, I guess?? I was very doubtful at that time because of the things he’ll say and act like your husband. One day I told him that I was leaving and was confident telling him that I no longer needed him.. he tried to act like he didn’t care and he knew I’d do it too! That two year, it finally hit him and realized he wasn’t perfect and how wrong he has treated me. We are Christians so when he really gave his life to Christ and started going to marriage counseling, we both healed from our hurt and moved on!

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I can't pretend anymore - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (8)

Sky519

@kashmcn,

Unfortunately, that’s not the case for many.. and it turns into a long *** life full of resentment..

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MamaM357

If this is his behavior, I think leaving is the best option. children who grow up with parents who argue often think these types of behaviors are normal for relationships and often get into abusive relationships when they are older because they think your relationship is love. you also don't want your daughter to grow up thinking when/if she chooses to have children that she is the one "responsible" for diapers, feedings, etc -- it takes two people to make a baby, a baby is a full time two person job -- a rewarding experience but it's work too.

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in addition to saving up money, look up programs that can assist with child care (if needed), formula (if needed), additional baby items and definitely make sure that you put him on child support. putting him on child support doesn't make you a terrible person, it just makes sure that he is taking care of his child financially and ensuring you don't need to argue with him regarding financial responsibility -- it's something he will HAVE to pay, not "when he feels like being a parent".

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2017Garcia

@Dovahsmom, Do you have a family member or friend you could move in with until you're able to be on your own 2 feet? Perhaps low-income housing in the meantime. He sounds verbally abusive and perhaps even emotionally abusive, manipulative at the least. With him not knowing you're pregnant, he could turn violent. I'd say the sooner you get out the better. You may be surprised by how supportive your family is once discussing with them.

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